I haven't been doing much on the computer these days just because the kids were home a lot for some holidays and I've been relaxing a lot. A friend gave me an iPod Touch so I've been lurking and looking though (and calling people on Skype).

On Mothers' Day, some friends and I went for what turned out to be a 5 mile hike through a fairly well groomed trail. The younger two ran ahead and I worried a little about being such a slowpoke but they were smart enough to wait at our destination and not go off with strangers. This was one week after the 5/1 gammaknife surgery I had to blast the smaller of the two brain tumors (at a different hospital than where I had the craniotomy on 4/17) but I'd been told that I could do anything from the day after the surgery and to go ahead and dance, have wine, sing karaoke...if I wanted to by the lovely gammaknife neurosurgeon so I suppose it was OK.

It felt good to be in a forest before the heat and bugs came out but I was worried about having to go a little slowly while the kids went off ahead. They knew enough to wait at the end of the trail anyway and the friends walked ahead and make sure they were OK. I rested the next day but surprised that I had no aches or pains from all the ups and downs of the trail parts (about half of the walk was paved). The friend took lots of pictures I'm hoping she'll send some so I can post some here.

I had a round of appointments yesterday, the first since I checked out of the Ntl. Cancer Center on 4/25 and blood work and heart scans showed I was fine to start Adria/Cyto chemo so, after working out the post chemo prescriptions with my breast/lung Dr. (who seemed a little surprised and pleased I'd gone out to the mountains), I got a baseline lung x-ray and headed off to see my neurosurgeon who said he didn't need and MRI that after all (skipped breakfast for naught!). He brought up the prescription from my breast/lung Dr. on the screen to compare with the anti brain swelling steroids and anti convulsion meds he wants to decrease as one of the chemo tolerance steroids is similar. We shuffled things around a bit and I'm on a lower dose over all post chemo and then half of that until June 5, my next chemo day.

I'm planning to take the children to visit my hometown from 7/27 to 8/19 and have been making itineraries this morning. Hopefully all four can go but my eldest, J, may be too busy with the band she joined in her new high school. She's spent a summer with my parents all on her own, as has M, but the younger two have no memories of an American small town summer on the lake with Grandma and Grandpa so I really want to do this.

Quick Update

There's so much I want to write but with the family home for some holidays, I expect we'll be a little busy doing fun stuff in this fabulous spring weather.

I am home and feeling fine after a whirlwind couple of weeks including a craniotomy to remove what turned out to be six centimeter tumor from the center back right side of my brain at the National Cancer Center and then gamma ray surgery at the Tokyo Women's Medical University just yesterday to kill off the almost three centimeter tumor behind my left temple. This postponed chemotherapy plans a few weeks but I'll start on Adriamycin and Cyclophosphomide on May 15 to blast away at the lung and pelvic bone metastases and am ready with my spring line up of kerchiefs and caps for this summer's no hair look.

The onset of the symptoms of the brain tumors and my gut reaction to get myself to my usual hospital immediately were so sudden that it caused a bit of a panic on the home front but battalions of friends jumped right in to make sure that my family was OK, that I had everything I needed while I was in the hospital and that my family and friends had updates. It was not only a huge relief, but also heartwarming.

So, on to Golden Week - No school for six days and lots of sunny days...picnic time.

Disoriented in the Orient

Last Friday started lurching around like a drunk so rush home to call my oncologist and he urge me to get to the cancer center right away. An adventurous journey to my station on downtown as confusion and nausea escalated got me here in about 90 minutes where I stumbled to the restroom and lost my lunch before checking in being whisked upstairs for an MRI.

Dr. F. met me back up in the room he'd arranged for me and confirmed two brain tumors; 4.0 and 2.5 cms. The big one comes out Friday and then the team will reassess the situation.
Meds are keeping symptoms at bay and my room has a view.

I may not post for a while because this computer is hard to use but I feel lots of love and prayers from family and friends around the world.

Disoriented in the Orient

Last Friday started lurching around like a drunk so rush home to call my oncologist and he urge me to get to the cancer center right away. An adventurous journey to my station on downtown as confusion and nausea escalated got me here in about 90 minutes where I stumbled to the restroom and lost my lunch before checking in being whisked upstairs for an MRI.

Dr. F. met me back up in the room he'd arranged for me and confirmed two brain tumors; 4.0 and 2.5 cms. The big one comes out Friday and then the team will reassess the situation.
Meds are keeping symptoms at bay and my room has a view.

I may not post for a while because this computer is hard to use but I feel lots of love and prayers from family and friends around the world.

More Kool-Aid

I get a three week break from Herceptin starting today. We decided that the Herceptin and Taxotere regime has lost its effectiveness and that a stop-gap chemo until Tykerb becomes legally available here is the next step. A few years ago I had a Kool Aid red colored chemo called Epirubicin. From April 21st, I'll start a similar drug, Adriamycin. This one is orange, and is as toxic to the heart as Epirubicin so there's a "lifetime limit" to worry about. Herceptin also affects heart function adversely, so I'm taking a break to clear the system for a few weeks before blasting away with this old fashioned nauseating, hair reducing chemo once every three weeks for a while. Lucky that I have lots of good anti-nausea medications to make treatment a little smoother.

I skipped the Hercptin today but ahead and got my Zometa, the bone strengthening IV, today so I won't have to go in next week and I can enjoy J's entrance ceremony.

I'd expected a longer day of treatment and left lunchboxes full of chirashi sushi for the kids so I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and walk a few stations before heading home on the train. I went from Tsukiji to Jimbocho via Ginza, Yuurakucho, Hibiya (near the imperial palace) and Kanda. In Kanda there are a few large sporting goods stores and one of them had boxes and boxes of various training wear out on the sidewalk on the final day of a blowout sale (or maybe they just fell off the back of some truck...) Brand name tee shirts, cotton tennis slacks and jerseys for 300 yen each, the sign said. "J needs sportswear for high school..." I thought as I rummaged through the boxes and battled my way into the bowels of the store where the cashier asked if I had a "service card." The walk was a spur of the moment idea and the discovery of the sale pure luck so of course I had no service card. Did this mean I couldn't partake in the bargains? I must have looked a little panicky because the nice guy told me that it wasn't a problem and he rang up my purchases for 243 yen each so J's gym wear cost me a total of 729 yen. He gave me a "service card" for 20% off on my next purchase. I still don't know where he plucked 243 yen from though. Oh well, I like nice guys, it was a nice treat to get a bargain on something I needed to buy anyway and walking is good for my heart.

Tomorrow we're off in search of sakura (cherry blossoms) with onigiri rice balls and tea.

Sigh

I met with Dr. F. today before my I.V. and he had bad news. There aren't any trials that I qualify for after all. He said he could try contacting colleagues in the U.S. but he knows that it would be very expensive and not covered by any of my National Health Insurance. He can also look at other hospitals in Japan but from what I've seen, the National Cancer Center seems to be the hub for trials.

The Tykerb approval I'd been expecting in December is likely to happen in June. He says I can try different chemo drugs to tide me over until the Tykerb is released. I feel pretty good for someone biding time until the next drug comes out...

I will go ahead make an appointment with the home hospice clinic to get that ball rolling anyway. Then I guess I'll make a list of all the drugs that women in the online breast cancer support group have had success with and hand it over to Dr. F. when I see him next Tuesday for bone scan results and treatment. I can get some input on whether they're available for breast cancer treatment or when they will be. Now I'm free to enjoy the foreign wives association picnic on the first. J plans to go with me tomorrow to walk around Tsukiji and Ginza while we wait for my skeleton to absorb radioactive injection the bone scan. She can carry any bargains we find at the market home for me.

Thinking about the trial appointment

I'm sure that they have my medical history but I thought I should have a digest on hand when I talk with the doctors about whatever trial they're hoping I'll take part in.

Here it is:
Nov 2004 - partial masectomy (clear margins) - ER/PR++ HER+++
Dec 2004 - Started Tamoxifen
Nov 2005 - Mets to axial, clavicle and neck lymph nodes - Rads for 30 days, then CEF-T Chemo for 7 months
Jun 2006 - Lung mets showed up mid-chemo , shrank a little w/final few treatments - oral toremifene
Oct 2006 - changed hospitals
Dec 2006 - Tamoxifen and monthly Zoladex
Feb 2007- Dramatic growth of mets! Stopped Tamoxifen and Zoladex
Mar 2007 - Began weekly Herceptin
Jun 2007 - Added weekly Taxol to regime
Apr 2008 - Yet more lung mets - stopped Taxol
May 2008 - Started Xeloda - 3 weeks on 1 week off
Aug 2008 - Got a port!
Sep 2008 - Stopped Xeloda, started weekly Navelbine
Dec 2008 - Tumor progression, stopped Navelbine
Jan 2009 - Taxotere begins again, once in every three weekly Herceptin IVs
Mar 2009 - Added Zometa because of painful pelvic bone event, tumors progressing

Thank you MIJers!

Last year at this time I was overwhelmed with the worries of paying for ongoing life extending cancer treatments and then overwhelmed again by the support of MIJ sisters, women in an online group in Japan. Thanks to the pledges and donations I received, I was able to relax and focus on getting my weekly treatments and enjoying time with my children this year.

The National Health Insurance plan has a contingency to assist members when their 30% share of the medical costs is high so I have been able to keep my medical costs down to 44,400 yen a month plus train fare after the monthly refunds. I've been able to continue teaching at my husband's English school as well as a few extra teaching and editing jobs here and there so things don't seem so dire financially this year. Whew! Thank you for helping through that all MIJ.

Treatment-wise, I've worked my way through the various treatments that were available and and the tumors in my lungs are still growing, probably more slowly than with no treatments. I'll be getting a bone scan next week to check on some spots that look cancerous on my hip and pelvis. The treatment for these bone metastases will be radiation every day for two or three weeks when I decide that I need help with the pain. I'm not in pain now though, so I'm in no rush to roast my rump just yet. I will be talking with a team of oncologists on April 1st about possible phase one clinical trials. Phase one is just after the lab research, basically when they need to find out how much humans can tolerate before it either stops working or the side effects become worse than the disease. It's exciting that I may get to try new treatments sooner rather than later. I guess I just have to wait until April to find out exactly what trials though, no matter how impatient I am.

I am glad that I feel well enough to get out and around with the kids and enjoy this lovely spring.

Plan B, or is it C?

Not wanting to waste the weekend I wrestled away from the children's friends and other activities, when we all felt fine after all on Friday night, I decided to use the refund from the canceled ski trip on a day at Disneyland. L was very pleased as he had never been. We took an early train and had a great day in spite of the crowds.

We got back around 10:30 and were surprised to see that S had scraped old paint off the bathroom walls in order to repaint them this weekend. We were too tired to do much but change into pajamas, brush our teeth and go right to bed anyway. S came home after 11 and was surprised to see us. He thought we were off skiing because he hadn't heard when we told him that we'd canceled. He was going to surprise us with home improvements.

Exhausted from our adventures, we slept in until noon today and he had plenty of time to paint without all of us underfoot. Then I set up a "Do Not Cross" line with masking tape across the door so the kids, who listen as well as S does, wouldn't go and touch the new paint after I told everyone "Don't touch!" (Which they all understand as"Touch and see why she says that.") The visual reminder has been effective all day. I took the children to a large public bath a few stations away for the afternoon so now we're as clean as the newly painted bathroom is. Tomorrow is a new week.

Disappointed

I had some very sharp pain last week right where my right leg meets my butt. I'm the sort of fool who doesn't recognize pain and has her first child at home but last week I could barely walk. I decided to have the local orthopedic surgeon take a look at it and get an x-ray last Friday. I gave him my history of cancer and, after he saw the x-rays, he asked a few questions about how recently I'd had a bone scan etc. It looks like I ever so slightly chipped my pelvis when my bike slipped a few weeks ago and the area was a little stressed. Then when I crouched to flip hot rice in the rice cake making event at jr. high school last week, the area was stressed again and BAM! Pain! He didn't like how the x-ray looked and didn't want to say anything specific until my oncologist saw the films. Fortunately, the pain has eased and I can walk again.

The weather forecast was for some snow on Tuesday so the Cancer Center wasn't so busy; nobody wants to risk falling down on slippery streets. My neighbor from downstairs had an appointment so we went together. Three out of four children stayed home from school with a stomach bug so I planned to rush home. I showed my films to Dr. F. and he asked to be excused while he ran over to show them to the osteo guy who was even less busy than our breast and lung specialist. The consensus was that my bones are in no imminent danger of crumbling, but now would be a good time to add bone strengthening Zometa once a month to my IVs and think about two weeks of radiation to the pesky bone mets so they won't be such a pain in the butt, literally. He sent me upstairs to have some more x-rays taken and then on to treatment.

I'll make up my mind on the radiation this week after I decide if the pain is really my bones or if it's from pulling something while doing the rice cake crouch. No rush, as I'm already in treatment for cancer. I'll have a CT scan on the 13th and a bone scan on the 25th at any rate. I think I should go ahead and get the radiation before it gets hot and humid (from mid April to October) making possible side effects (itchy itchy and a little sore) even worse.

So, I had Zometa on Tuesday and the side effects, for the first dose at any rate, were listed as slight fever, flue like aches and nausea. Not unlike the stomach bug already raging at home. Whatever it was, these symptoms hit with a vengeance on Tuesday night and I had to cancel lessons on Wednesday evening as I had no energy. Poor S wasn't feeling too well either but he managed to teach his classes. L and N stayed home today but it looks like the worst of it is over. I had to cancel our ski trip though. Sad.

An Encore

J's artwork was chosen again for the annual public school art exhibit at the Tokyo Metropolitan Museum of Art in Ueno. I'll be sure to take a picture and post it here when we get it back. We took the opportunity to go look at the exhibit and buy a book bag for high school at Ameyoko Street, the land of discount shops.

A friend and I took the train out to Chiba yesterday to attend the Gala Banquet celebrating the 40th anniversary of the Association of Foreign Wives of Japanese. Actually, there was a three day convention and the dinner was on the second night but I just couldn't manage to get out for that long. I really enjoyed meeting many of the ladies I'd been corresponding with in our e-groups in real life. The food and entertainment were fantastic and I had a blast. I'm glad my friend was with me because the train ride home was very long.

Too Busy to Post Much

Thank you for crossing your fingers for J. She had her exam and group interview for her first choice high school on January 27th. Most of the students we saw returning to the nearest station as we were on our way to check the results on the wall outside the school office on February 3rd looked pretty glum so she was very nervous by the time we got there. She was overjoyed to find her number on the list of students who were accepted. Wooo hoooo!

There is an orientation for her on March 24th, so we've decided not to go to the U.S. this spring. I will probably go in July with just the younger two or maybe even on my own. My high school class is planning a reunion. M can't miss any school this coming year if she wants to apply for early decision by interview for the high school she's thinking about and J will be busy all summer with brass band and high school culture festival preparations so a trip for them is out. N will have a school trip to the beach in Chiba at the end of July and S won't be too happy if she or L miss any school so the solo trip is looking better (and more relaxing for me!) My brother and his family may be travelling to Japan this summer so I guess I should try to coordinate a little more. So much to think about...

This puts us back at square one of the bucket list; taking the kids skiing. I found a very cheap bus tour that gives us transportation to and from Tokyo, two full days of lift tickets, a night in a small hotel with an all-you-can eat chicken hotpot dinner and buffet breakfast and free skiwear and ski rental. We leave on Friday night March 6th from Harajuku and spend a night on the bus and the bus home leaves the ski area around 4 p.m. on Sunday so nobody has to miss any school and we can make the most of our weekend in the snow.

My next task is to scour the local second-hand shops for goggles and gloves for L, N and myself. J & M are set as I was given said items last year for their school ski trip.

The next item on my list was to attend one of the national events of a women's club I'm in. Each year the Association of Foreign Wives of Japanese has a convention somewhere in Japan. I've never been in a position to travel without the kids (or with them much for that matter) but this year the convention will be near Tokyo. I still can't really spend a night or two away without a lot of grief but I have managed to sign myself up for the celebration banquet on the second evening and plan to make a nice day of it. It's a chance to meet old friends and new who are coming from all over Japan for a workshops and social fun. I'm loking forward to meeting some of the women from some of my e-groups there. This year is the 40th anniversary of the founding of the club and I've heard that about 160 women will be at the celebration (note to self - search for my black slip to go under the sexy dress I plan to wear). My friend from Maine who lives down the street will go with me. I expect we'll be on one of the last trains home that evening.

Nothing like going hog wild and getting out twice in the same decade.

Busy and Long Day

S accompanied J to the high school she hopes to enter. Today was the first round of interviews and essay writing. There was a sign at the gate forbidding anyone but students with validated interview registration cards from entering so he spent three hours in a nearby coffee shop. I'll go with her on Monday to see the results. Cross your fingers. More than J realizes is riding on the results.

I had to wait until the other three made it out the door before heading downtown for my full course of tests, consultations and I.V.s. L had a headache and I almost decided to stay home but as he wasn't feverish or nauseous, I hid the cord for the Wii remote control and told him to stay in bed until S and J returned in a few hours. I was more than an hour and a half late for my appointment but fortunately the computerized system enabled my doctor to know that I was not in the building and he filled the slot with someone who had arrived early for a later appointment. I had to get my blood drawn and also an x-ray before talking with him. He was as thorough as usual and even typed in that my daughter was having her entrance exam for high school on my electronic record making me chuckle. He also imput my travel plans for March so I'm waiting on J's high school results before purchasing any tickets.

The x-ray showed that there is no dramatic tumor growth since my first round of Taxotere on the 6th of January. I'll have a CT scan in early March instead of this week as the results should be more clear after two or three rounds. With all the delays, many other people got places in the chemo room before me and I had to wait for more than an hour for a bed. I didn't start my I.V. until close to 1:00, when I usually finish and head home. I used the time productively shopping for tuna, eating a few plates of conveyor belt sushi, picking up my presciption for two days of anti-nausea pills and paying my hospital bill. Then I had a three hour nap while my superzap stuff was pumped in through my port one drip at a time. I got home around 5:00.

Run Run Run

Wish M good luck in this weekend at the annual Ekiden (a relay race type marathon). She's been on and off and on again this week at school with a cold and then a stomach bug but she seems well enough to run her 4 kilometers on Sunday.

Then J has a test and a group interview for a one in five chance at a place in her first choice high school. If she gets in we won't have to jump through all the hoops of taking tests for her second choice (the safety net) and then later for this first choice place place. First (and hopefully only) phase results will be posted on February 2nd.

I have the next round of Taxotere on Tuesday and a CT scan on Friday (I'll see the results on February 3rd) and will hopefully be able to make some spring break plans.

Here's hoping the week goes well for all.

Looking Good

M got a "makeover" at a new hair salon as her Christmas present and was quite pleased with how manageable her locks are and how luxurious the service was on her day of pampering. The staff was pleasant and hopeful that I'd also sign up for a haircut (as I looked like I needed one rather desperately). I decided against personal pampering of the hair type as I'm probably going to be bald by January 20th and wouldn't want to deprive the kids of any barbershop fun later. She got the full treatment, cut, treatment, straightening, massage, a beverage...and was given a voucher so that friends she introduces get a 50% discount on their first visit.

A few days later, she decided to brighten her hair for the winter holidays with what she thought was a temporary coloring. She, of course, didn't consult me or anyone else in the house, or even read past "sprinkle on, wait, rinse" on the outside of the box, which she immediately discarded under several layers of potato peels and other trash, where it wouldn't be discovered. Then she wore a hat for three days, thinking we wouldn't be suspicious because sleeping in a hat keeps the heat in and it's been so cold lately. I finally told her that I knew that she'd done something to her hair and that I wouldn't be angry but would she please show me.

Helig ko! (Swedish for Holy Cow according to an online translator) All she needs are blue contact lenses! She insisted that it would wash out in a week or two but agreed to let me dye her hair back to caramel brown if it didn't before school started on Thursday. She went off on Thursday, confident that nobody would notice...J came home saying that the teachers had discussed the "situation" and that her teacher had asked her to tell M that the artificial color was not appropriate for school. M said her teachers asked her about it and that she explained that she'd thought it would be temporary (yeah, until it grows out in a year or two). We had a home spa night and she's back to brunette (still artificial, but it won't look so strange as it grows out).

J needed to do something to sharpen her image for the upcoming high school entrance test and interview so we took the 50% off voucher and headed off for another afternoon at the hair salon (minus the straightening and treatment). She has fairly short hair so she was worried about having enough for the stylist to work with but she ended up with quite a nice cut. She was impressed by the attention she got and enjoyed the massage too. With the discount, is was 1,950 yen for the whole experience. L and N had 1,000 yen / 10 minute haircuts last week at another nearby place so all in all, the kids look quite presentable, for a change. J said that the stylist mentioned that I could use the discount voucher that she gave her to enjoy a haircut too (as three weeks had passed since the previous attempt to entice me to cut my hair and it was even bigger now) and J explained that I'd be bald soon. Maybe next fall...

I had Taxotere after my regular Herceptin drip and A pre-chemo steroid drip last Tuesday and came home with a three day prescription for Decadron (the steroid) to keep me from having adverse reactions to the Taxotere. Of course the steroid makes me feel yucky in its own way, but I think that the week went fairly well. I hosted J's brass band for lunch on Wednesday and helped out at a school event on Thursday, watching over the 9th graders as they made campfires and cooked pots of vegetable and pork miso stew. Now I have to clean the closet out to look for my stash of hats as I'll probably need them in a week or so.

Sqeezably Good Looking

I had a lot of luck yesterday, bad and good. The bad luck was that I ended up on the super crowded train to treatment because I took too long to make the obentos (lunch boxes) for the kids. It was so packed that I couldn't move my hands anywhere and some guy took the opportunity to give my derriere a squeeze. I tried to glance around and the men around me were all younger than I was so I wondered if perhaps one of them either liked big butts or had made a serious mistake (the poor fool). Or maybe any old butt would have sufficed.

It was just a quick grab/squeeze/release but it was a bit of a surprise. I ended up laughing it off (Merry Christmas whoever you were!) and deciding that it must be my lucky day (not necessarily good luck, but luck of sorts) so, just after treatment, I ventured into the big official Tsukiji market right outside the off limits auction area to look for some ankimo (anko monkfish fish "liver") for a friend. I was treated to all sorts of bantering and bargains.

Quite a few foreign tourists wander through the market with narrow cobblestone aisle after aisle of "middle vendors," rectangular vending areas separated by plywood and Plexiglas filled with fish of all sizes and kinds on boards held up by crates. Each vendor has a license to attend the early morning auction to bid on fish for their shop and cart their bounty to their nook of a shop. Most of the foreign visitors apparently don't look for anko fish liver or ask about prices so I think that they were a little surprised by my approach.

One old geezer added double the amount of ankimo and discounted some crab meat because, he said, I'm so beautiful. I got guffaw out of him when I told him that I hear that all the time and tossed my head. Instead of paying 2400 for all of the stuff, he only charged me 1200. Then a shy younger man at another shop handed me back too much change and smiled and waved when I looked surprised and asked if it was OK. He was probably happy to get rid of his tuna jaw even for only 200 yen (it was too big to fit in my biggest pot but has been dealt with).

I was on a roll; I got some good pink tuna for the kids' Christmas tuna on rice sushi bowl dinner (I had to teach last night so we're doing turkey tonight) and the young man marked the chunk of very fresh tuna down from 2500 to 2000 yen. I added 500 yen worth of the nakaochi at another store and was given an extra handful from the guy scraping it off of the tuna spine while I paid the warmly dressed little old lady with an outdated geisha style hairdo and wire rim reading glasses behind the ledgers in a booth with a heater at the back of the shop. There are hundreds of these little booths occupied by abacus wielding grannies while their sons and grandsons (and a few daughters and granddaughters) cart, cut and sell fish "out front."

At the next shop, I joked about giving my husband cheap herring roe for New Years' at another store as the beautiful big yellow whole "pods" can be expensive and he always expects me to cut them into dainty pieces anyway. There was a 300 yen bag of "pod" scraps and I smiled and told them that I'd go treat myself to lunch on the difference. This time the "financial officer" with a big black bun of hair on the top of her head laughed and told the guy out front to give it to me for 200 yen. My bag was getting a little heavy by now and I hadn't even stopped at the outer market to buy a small turkey and pick up some more sliced almonds for Florentines yet.

I walked out of the market area through the fresh produce section and was given a Christmas discount on the last box (about four pints) of sweet smelling, firm looking, fresh strawberries when I mentioned how happy my four children would be to have such fine fruit for Christmas breakfast. Then I headed over to dried goods wholesale store for my almonds before hitting the poultry shop to get one of their last three turkeys.

For people in Japan, an eight pound bird seems humongous. It was the biggest bird that would actually fit in my tiny oven and I have to turn it over a few times so it heats evenly through and then cover it with foil so the outside doesn't get burned to a crisp. My arms are still sore from the over ambitious shopping but I had a lot of fun getting my bargains and the kids are happy to have good and fresh food.

Time to go make some gravy and get this show on the road.

A Pilgrimage (of sorts) and my Birthday Week Celebration

J and M had final exams from November 25th to the 27th and were complaining about the noise level during the three day weekend just before then. Chatting on Skype with an American friend in Tochigi, we decided that a visit there might be in order. I had a Saturday evening get-together with the ladies from the elementary school newspaper committee so we decided on an overnight visit from Sunday. We also made tentative plans to go see Nikko as my friend hadn't been yet and neither had my children.

The kids were quite excited about getting to go somewhere and were up before dawn on Sunday morning, giving us lots of time to get to Tochigi, buy tickets there for our trip home the next day on a special express that goes through a few times a day all the way to Shinjuku and leave our overnight things at my friend's place before returning to the station to head on up to Nikko. My friend treated us to the fancy express train to Imaichi, the station just before Nikko, as I wanted to make a pilgrimage to Masashi Gyoza.

Twenty six years ago, on my birthday, my high school classmates treated me to gyoza at a small shop near the high school in Imaichi. A young couple ran the tiny shop serving gyoza and only gyoza; either crispy fried ones or slippery boiled ones in a bowl of hot water. Soy sauce, vinegar and hot sesame oil were on the counter for customers to make their own dipping sauce or flavor their hot water accordingly. The prices were cheap and the gyoza were really good so I wasn't surprised to hear that they'd moved to a large location a few years later.

The station master looked a little worried as I approached to ask for directions to the store. He probably thought that the group of foreigners had gotten off one stop early by mistake and were wondering where the World Heritage sites could possibly be. When I asked in Japanese about the dumpling shop he was so relieved he lapsed into the local dialect and even pulled out a map to mark with a pen so we wouldn't get lost.

We found the shop with no trouble and had to wait for some seats as the place is still quite popular. The price had increased over the past 26 years, but was still very cheap at 210 yen for a plate or bowl of six pot stickers or dumplings. The couple behind the counter looked familiar but I was a little shy about asking if they were the same people or not so I ordered a double dose of yaki gyoza (the crispy yet juicy ones) for each of us. While my friend and I chatted, L gobbled his gyoza with great gusto, finishing even before his infamously fast eating older sister did. He said that they were really good and I refrained from divulging that they were full of vegetables like cabbage, nira (sort of like chives) and garlic. He thinks he's allergic to vegetables.

After we finished, the proprietress came and we spoke a bit. My kids were very surprised when they asked if I was Kathy and broke into smiles remembering how I'd visited their shop years and years before. N wondered how these people in a place far from home who spoke a different sort of Japanese would know who her mom was. As we were leaving, the lady came out with a bag full of cans of juice for us to take on to Nikko and enjoy.

Nikko itself was very crowded on the second day of a three day weekend so we decided it would be best to walk a mile or so up the hill to the World Heritage area with big 300 year old cedar trees, a pagoda, a Buddhist temple and Shinto shrines. The line for an inside view of the Toshogu Shrine compound was long so we detoured and viewed Futaarasan Shrine behind it and enjoyed walking along the avenue of cedar trees. We caught a bus back down the hill and went in search of Kanaya Hotel Cheesecake at the Kanaya Hotel Bakery Shop near the station. They had sold out much earlier in the day so we wandered in search of a coffee shop for a little refreshment before catching the local train back to Tochigi with hordes of other people who also couldn't get reservations on the fancy express train. I was glad that we hadn't planned on a day trip as it would have been awful to stay on that crowded train all the way to Asakusa.

The kids were delighted to be treated to sushi at a family style conveyor belt sushi place near my friend's house and I had a great time catching up with my friend and relaxing at her apartment later. We watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy , a show I'd never seen as I don't have cable TV, time to watch TV or even first dibs on the remote control. Of course now I want to see the rest of the series. (Chuckle)

On Monday morning we took a walking tour of Tochigi, a city that I'm sorry I never explored before. The town has made big efforts to preserve and present their history well and the canals and Edo period (and even a few Meiji period "modern" buildings) were intriguing. The lady running the sweets shop along the canal was pleasant and even presented each child with an extra snack when we stopped to buy some sembei rice crackers as a souveneir for J and M.

Our express train had us home just as J was frying some rice for a late lunch and in plenty of time to get ready for my afternoon English lessons. I was glad that I'd been able to have such a pleasant mini-vacation, J and M appreciated the quiet pre-test weekend and L and N agreed that the gyoza were the best they've ever had.

Tuesday was treatment day - "Happy Birthday! Fill'er up!"

I met friends on Thursday (while the kids were in school) for a Thanksgiving buffet at the New Sanno Hotel and it was a rather spectacular spread. I wasn't hungry all day Friday. I did meet some foreign wife friends for coffee in the morning before heading off to school for parent teacher conferences for N and L.

I finally had a bit of an appetite on Saturday morning, just in time to take
the kids, a pot of mashed potatoes and a pot of mashed kabocha (Japanese pumpkin) on the train across the river to another American friend's house for a family Thanksgiving. I think this is the first time I've managed to have all the kids with me at one of these events in about five years. I made sure to feed N a lot before we went so she wouldn't devour everyone's share. The weather was nice enough that the kids could play outside so my friend's house wasn't too crowded. She made a pecan pie and roasted the turkey, other people brought other dishes and some really great wines. It was a feast for all. All but L that is; he whispered sadly in my ear that there was nothing for him to eat. I reminded him that he'd been begging for mashed potatoes for breakfast but he said that he liked them freshly mashed. Poor boy...It's a good thing I had a few onigiri rice balls for just this sort of situation. Problem solved.

We spoke of things to be thankful for, and I was thankful to be here and have good friends to share these good times. The kids said they enjoyed the day and they waited while I got a thousand yen/ten minute haircut at the shop near the station before we got the train home.

That evening I planned to meet a foreign wife friend who was bringing another foreign wife guest from out of town over for a pint of Guiness at the Irish pub down the street. A few other foreign wives said they'd come along and we ended up being a group of nine from a few places around Tokyo. Unfortunately, the pub had been rented out to the local Berlitz Language School for their year-end party and we had to find a different place. When they asked me "Are you from Berlitz?" at the door, I should have said yes!

We meandered through the shopping district but all the bars were full so we ended up at an inexpensive Italian restaurant (one of a chain) for our wine and beer powered gabfest. I felt a little bad about not being more organized about reserving someplace, but I'd only expected 3 or 4 of us, maybe 5, so the big turnout was pleasant surprise.

I relaxed on Sunday and Monday and met friends for buckwheat crepes for lunch in Shinjuku on my way home from treatment on Tuesday, cycled to a friend's house for delicious chili for lunch on Wednesday, went to N's big concert with the entire fifth grade at the local auditorium and pasta afterwards with two of the other moms before the newspaper committee meeting at N & L's school, met a friend after shopping on Friday before J's and M's parent-student-teacher conferences and relaxed at home today until a friend stopped by with some winter coats that her boss thinks would fit me and some fun Christmas treats and lights.

My week of celebrating turned into two weeks and now I have to bake some Florentines for the annual Christmas cookie exchange on Monday. Travel, friends, parties, more friends; what a blast!

Good News

After I had my CT scan last Tuesday, I'd put it out of my mind as I didn't want to worry myself sick waiting for the results. I did such a good job that I forgot completely until I walked in to see my doctor yesterday morning and he was clicking around on his computer to bring the images up for our discussion. The CT scan results (which are much more accurate than an x-ray) showed that, while not dramatically, the Navelbine was helping to shrink the tumors. The three biggest tumors shrunk a few millimeters each. This means that I can keep my new silvery grey wig in its box for a while as the Taxotere should be saved for when I need more dramatic results. I forgot to ask my Dr. exactly how much more Taxotere I can have before it is either ineffective or is more trouble than the cancer it fights. That can wait until next time. I ended up going back on Navelbine after the three week break from chemo so I was a little tired today, but more energetic than past post-Navelbine days because of the break and, probably, the good news.

The Dr. did encourage me to continue with the hospice preparations as the hospice certified place will need him to send them my records and a request to have them see me before I actually go see them. There aren't many hospice certified hospitals in Japan but I found one on the list which is not too far away and which has a good network of qualified professionals who can do home visits to assist with the home-hospice option instead of or during the apparently long wait for a bed in the hospice ward itself. My downstairs neighbor's former student used to work at the big general hospital where the hospice ward is so she called the woman and got the low down on whom we should ask for and what to expect. We'll probably go on a tour or my first consultation together in January.

Future Plans

M and I had a productive day on Sunday, going to a high school guidance fair to see a huge variety of public schools so she could start thinking about what she wants to do and where she should go to high school to get the most out of those years. It's a lot like choosing a college. She is so different from J so the same schools J was looking at were not inspiring to her, but now she seems excited at the prospect of high school and beyond. We've signed up to visit a few of these schools later this year.

My neighbor and I went in to the cancer center this morning and I was glad to hear that my heart scans from Friday were fine and that I could get my usual dose of Herceptin today. Dr. F. asked how I'd fared with my counselor last week and if I would like to use that counselor as my regular contact at the social services counter. He encouraged me to continue researching and gradually making plans and to make my preferences regarding various aspects of medical and other care known to the counselor so she can help make things happen should the need arise. Planning is not really a problem as I figure I can amend plans as conditions change; who knows what my preferences will be when I'm ninety?

I had a CT scan right after my visit with Dr. F. and then had my treatment. My downstairs neighbor had her consultation with Dr. F. and met me in the chemo room to sit and talk before we headed off to the fish market to try a new sushi shop and then walk off lunch in the market. Next week I start Taxotere again, when I see the CT scan results.

The rest of this week is filled with teaching, a lunch with some Japanese friends and the biannual elementary drama festival which is always something the kids are so proud to do with their entire grade. L and his friend from downstairs are giving me a preview, acting all the the other kids' parts to practice as I type. L and N have Monday off as a consequence of their Saturday performances. The immediate plans for the future are to bake cookies on Monday.

Almost Time for the Kotatsu

What's a kotatsu? It's what the kids are begging me to set up and the reason we have to move our furniture around and put the dining room table into storage. A low table equipped with a heater and some blankets is all they need for a snuggly, comfy winter. Well, they also say they need lots of mikans (Japanese tangerines) to peel and nibble while they become the Japanese equivalent of couch potatoes until spring. It's incentive enough to get them to help with the cleaning anyway.

I had a different technician than usual for today's heart scan and she wouldn't share any comments other than that I'll be able to discuss the results next Tuesday when I see Dr. F again before my CT scan. I was assigned a social worker at the support counter and we spoke for about half an hour about my concerns and specific needs. Not much of the information was new, but I did get some good literature that will make explanations to S a little smoother.

I spoke with my 77 year old medical mentor downstairs this evening. She has connections with medical facilities all over Tokyo and a good grasp of what it good and what to avoid. It turns out that she has started gathering the same kind of information and that I may be able to help her a bit. We'll both go to the counselor on Tuesday as we're looking for a home hospice oriented clinic near our apartment house and not just the usual simple home nurse type service which she has already been using for the past decade for simple check-ups from time to time.

A friend and supporter has reminded me of some simple meal services that might be useful in getting the kids to learn and enjoy a little cooking. Ingredients for meals are delivered already measured out or chopped with instructions on how to finish cooking the meal. It's cheaper than ordering completely prepared meals and the meal plans are well balanced. It should be fun to try these once in a while and let the kids cook meals with minimum fuss. I'd heard of these services before but was very grateful for the reminder.