Another Nice Neighbor

When my British neighbor learned that the nice septuagenarian Japanese cancer survivor in my building wanted to come along with me to my next oncology appointment, she offered to give us a ride to make things easier all around. It is very comforting to to have these helpful people around.


Anonymous said...

Hi Kathy,

I was having my regular 2x month acupuncture session for STRESS REDUCTION this past week and I was feeling 'anxious' because my husband's 3-month medical exam results were coming up this week (today in fact). The acupuncturist is a little older than I am and has extremely poor vision (from birth), but has worked in Germany and his 'treatment' for me comes more from his small gems on how to live than from the needle treatment. I have been going to him for about 15 years now. He touched my back and said, "Tamah, if you are going to be this anxious, it is not going to be good for your body. Whatever happens, everyone around you will support you (mawari no minasan wa sasaette kureru) when you need it. I realize that many times I feel I have to take care of myself (because I am an American woman of the feminist movement generation? because I am an expat or rather an immigrant? I don't know). But I do know that I can stop blocking being mentored. When my husband had his health glitch a year ago, I visited a long-time Japanese woman friend and she made coffee for me and we talked one entire morning. She said, "Tamah-san, this is an 'onegai shakai'. When you need something, just ask and you'll get it." That statement, and the reminder from my acupuncturist this past week have helped me in so many ways. I do ask more now,,,,,and things seem to fall into place, without so much orchestration from me.

I don't know if any of this is fruitful for you, and none of it is meant as 'advice' at all. It is just that the offers of help coming your way reminded me of these concepts of: 'ask for favors/help' and 'expecting the society (universe?) to support you'. These concepts have NOT been part of my childhood training so in times of stress, I need to breathe deeply a lot to let these concepts float to the surface.

By the way, my husband's 3-month report today was that there had been no worsening of his condition so we are thrilled.

Love, Tamah